batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
