I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
