i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
