Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize