I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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