It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize