haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
