My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize