Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
