In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
