You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
