brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
someone owes me an orgasm
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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