Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
