that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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