Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
