I wish I could punch you in the face.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
