Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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