wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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