So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize