She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
