dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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