Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize