You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
