Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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