I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
