Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
