After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
