I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
