I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
