i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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