I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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