8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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