Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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