he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
