This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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