your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
