you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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