We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
