If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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