i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Randomize
