i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
