Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
