i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
