ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize