This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
