he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
