She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
