So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I didn't notice because vodka
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
