And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
