we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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