I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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