What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
