So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
