I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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