it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i drank out of a bidet.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
