i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
