dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
