they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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