My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
