Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
