i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
im holly from the hills drunk
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
