So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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