I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
