I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
