My girlfriend figured out who you are.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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