she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
