So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
