I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
