In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
